Wednesday, 14 October 2020

Advices For Young People. An old, penniless, lonely and obnoxious - Part 1, 2, 3, 4





An old, penniless, lonely and obnoxious man.
I am a zero-brained man - Part 1

24 December 2018 


This is my story of my encounters with an obnoxious old man. Mr Tan, a 74-year-old man had worked for some 10 years for Mrs Wong as a "writer". He called himself the "advisor" and was proactive as a gatekeeper. 

In the last couple of years, Mr Tan behaved as if he was the boss. This meant he would disappear to watch movies during office hours and procrastinated to write the documents for Mrs Wong.

Mrs Wong tolerated his behaviour as her brother needed his "writer's" services for his office work correspondence. Mr Tan invited himself, by waiting at her office to take a ride to her home for dinner. In the morning, he would go to her house to hitch a ride to her office to work. But many days, he had disappeared to watch movies! Or called in sick.     

I met Mrs Wong when she consulted me as her cat was sick. This was at least 10 years ago. I treated her dogs over the years, but, unlike Mr Tan, I was not her employee. We became good friends. She invites my wife and I to her house for dinners many times especially during the festivals of multi-cultural Singapore. 

The story below illustrated one of numerous Mr Tan's rude behaviour towards me. This occasion was after dinner in 2018 and his intention was to get me to stay clear of Mrs Wong, by hook or by crook

The text in the image above is shown as follows:

HOW TO DEAL WITH OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE IN YOUR OFFICE/DURING SOCIAL FUNCTIONS?

In a group, you may find a critical person who wants to show off to the boss or host at the expense of others, as illustrated in the following story. 

After dinner, the family members left the dining table to watch TV or do their own things. My host (Mrs Wong) was still at the dining table. My wife urged me to chat with Mrs Wong post-dinner. Normally I would not do so on seeing Mr Tan, an uninvited 74-year-old employee of Mrs Wong there.

"Why are you still here?" the stout old man’s small eyes squinted at me through his thick glasses. "I am here to converse with Mrs Wong" I was not surprised at his rudeness. Mrs Wong's family members avoided him like the plaque but that suited his purpose - to gain sole attention from Mrs Wong.

"You are not an employee!" Mr Tan raised his voice when I sat down next to Mrs Wong. "You should be in the living area watching TV with the others!" I was shocked at his declaration that only employees should be present post-dinner. Dinner at the boss' residence is not a perquisite of employment for Mr Tan. My wife and I were invited as Mrs Wong treated us as family.

Mrs Wong took her eyes off her smartphone text messages and said, "He is my guest! Are you not feeling well now?" She stood and repeated the question. I kept quiet as this man was trying to provoke me again. Mr Tan took advantage as Mrs Wong would never stop an old man from sharing her delicious food. 

After work, he just took a ride from Mrs Wong to her house for dinner. Unless he had disappeared to watch movies during office hours. No qualms about doing that as Mrs Wong still paid him in full.

Mr Tan coughed as if he had water in his lungs. He got up saying, "I am not well. I will go home," his eyes squinted towards me and pointed his index finger in my direction. "He is a zero-brained man!"  

Mrs Wong's sister said "goodbye" when Mr Tan proceeded to the main door. "Don't ever say 'goodbye'," he told her off. "Say 'see you another time!'" He ought to say "thank you" but he could not care two hoots about his lack of manners.

During a previous post-dinner chat, he tried to impress us with the numerous movies he had watched when he ought to be at work. He announced, "I watched 'Wonder Woman' 15 times". He queried us, "What makes this movie a blockbuster movie? What is its hook?" We were dumb asses. So he said, "All men want her, but one man wants her dead!".

Mrs Wong was not a movie buff but she participated as a good host ought to. I was silent as I knew he was not bothered with any movie comments from me. "You watched this movie?" he queried my knowledge about a movie that he rated highly. "Yet you cannot remember the plots!". I did not retort. Why should I entertain him?

Later, I told Mrs Wong that I do not clutter my brain with movie plots as there is a limit to what the brain can store. "Besides, Mr Tan watches some movies more than once!"

ADVICES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE 
Being 69 years old, I had interacted with a few obnoxious persons. They run you down in front of your boss or host to prove they are smarter. They love to make fun of your traits or work performances. Try to stay calm when you encounter the bad people.

In conflicts, one can either attack, escape or make peace.
For Mr Tan, I chose to "escape" as he does not want peace. I know Mrs Wong wished that I would speak up for myself sometimes as she would defend me when Mr Tan called me names. 

I could upset Mrs Wong if I attacked the old man. He had advised her to get rid of the scroungers (my wife and I) as we were frequently invited to Mrs Wong's dinners as she welcome us as family.

Do not create conflicts with your colleagues or family members by attacking them frequently. If you persist in having a foul mouth, you will be like Mr Tan - a person whom all "shiam" (avoid)! You will be a bitter old lonely person with no friends as you create disharmony during social gatherings.


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An old, penniless, lonely and obnoxious man.
An eternally stressful situation - Part 2

10 October 2020

It is 2020 now. I tried to be civil with Mr Tan during dinners hosted by Mrs Wong, but a leopard cannot change his spots. Recently, after dinner, he saw me talking to Mrs Wong in the kitchen. 

He approached me to say "hello." I said "Good evening" and he made some small talk about the golden hours of photography and how he had owned a $60,000 Hasselbach camera. "You must be very rich," I said. "I am rich!" he declared. "I hope so..." I replied. "I guess I am not rich..." was Mr Tan's parting remark as he walked towards Mrs Wong who was helping the domestic workers to clean the post-dinner plates and to make coffee.   

If he was still rich, why accept taxi money from Mrs Wong to go home after dinner? Why did he show Mrs Wong he had no money in his wallet to accept money from her many times? Has he no sense of shame?   

I left him alone with Mrs Wong as I would rather not have any  conversation with him as he would throw some snide remarks. 

The next day, Mrs Wong told the family at dinner that Mr Tan had said to her: "Your mother concurs with me that David (myself) and his wife are scroungers!". 

No wonder Mr Tan left suddenly to go home soon after talking to Mrs Wong that evening! He brought out the worst in a most gentle and kind lady who was provoke to utter to him a stream of expletives.  

Mr Tan thinks he is her enforcer of morals and protector of Mrs Wong as he worked longer for her. That would be another story. 

When we grow older, our minds may go haywire and we become as blind as a bat to the realities of life. 

Later, Mrs Wong informed me that Mr Tan's misbehaviour was jealousy. She had told Mr Tan that my wife and I are considered her family. Mr Tan gave an incendiary reply: "I did so much for you in the office work!" He wrote some effective letters for her business. 

But Mrs Wong told him he ought to perform well in his work as he was paid to do so. He was an employee. Good performance is an employee's duty. 

Dinner in his presence is never a pleasant affair. It is an eternally stressful situation.




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An old, penniless, lonely and obnoxious man.
Protocols - Part 3

October 2020

Mr Tan told a new employee of Mrs Wong not to sit next to her after dinner, as it protocol demanded that he be the one sitting next to her after dinner. 



An old, penniless, lonely and obnoxious man. 
A dangerous man - Part 4


October 2020

Mr Tan likes to declare he is a dangerous man. Certainly, his sharp tongue ensured that only the brave and foolish family member would converse with him and risk snide remarks from him. He could not care two hoots. Mrs Wong was his target. She gave him money for taxi fares, bought him lunches during office outings, incontinence pads, new apparel and shoes. He was not even her family!

"I am old, poor and lonely," he would text Mrs Wong. Mrs Wong helps many people in need of money and so Mr Tan was not the only charity that began at home. Is Mr Tan a lonely and penniless old man? He lives with two adult children and a wife! 

Recently, one evening after dinner, I remarked to Mr Wong who had terminated an employee for poor work performance. "Mr Tan is employed forever (despite his disappearance to watch movies and procrastination)." Mrs Wong did not reply to my frustration then. 

A leopard never changes his spots. Instead he poisons the minds of Mrs Wong's mother to concur with him that I was a scrounger at Mrs Wong's dining table. So, in a sense, he is a "dangerous man."  






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What is a obnoxious person? Obnoxious is highly objectionable or offensive; odious: obnoxious behavior. annoying or objectionable due to being a show-off or attracting undue attention to oneself: an obnoxious little brat. Archaic. exposed or liable to harm, evil, or anything objectionable.
"By hook or by crook" is an English phrase meaning "by any means necessary", suggesting that any means possible should be taken to accomplish a goal.


The definition of snide is someone or something rude, snobby, mocking, devious or underhanded. When you ask a question and someone says "duh, everyone knows that!," this is an example of a snide remark. ... stupid question," is an example of a person who would be described as snide Extremely unpleasant.


A leopard never changes its spots meaning
saying. something you say that means a person's character, especially if it is bad, will not change, even if they pretend that it will.


Scrounger. A person who borrows from or lives off others.

someone who tries to get things, especially money or food, by asking for them instead of buying them or working for them:
He thinks that people who receive welfare benefits are scroungers

Saturday, 3 October 2020

25. Advices For Young People. An eternally stressful environment.


ADVICES FOR YOUNG PEOPLEAn eternally stressful environment

Dr Sing Kong Yuen, BVMS (Glasgow)


After a recent dinner, the 76-year-old man said “hello” to me, made some small talk and approached my host inside the kitchen. He confided: “Your mother is against inviting the scroungers to your house for dinner!”    


Two years ago, this beady-eyed stout ex-employee warned Mrs Wong about my wife and I being scroungers as we were frequent dining guests.  One time, she banned him after he said unkind words about my wife.  But Mr Tan texted messages to her including: "I am an old, lonely and penniless man".  Mrs Wong would give him money and buy him apparel and incontinence pads. Besides being intimidated by his sharp tongue, her staff tolerates his foul smell of urine as he loiters to hitch a ride from Mrs Wong to her home for dinner.    


My situation is similar to yours IF your boss reneged on her promise not to  renew an abusive senior employee’s contract. Now he schemes to get colleagues to gang up against you.  Just as what Mr Tan did to me.    


IF your male friend is interested in you running errands and baby-sitting his son, but not in an intimate relationship. If you need anti-anxiety medication and become very thin. Talk to your close friends. Listen to their advices. Block his phone number rather than obsess with whether he has had texted back. 


All 3 situations are eternally stressful. Should you tolerate or exit? Only you can decide what is best for your mental health! Only you can love yourself. Tomorrow may never come.  May I wish you good luck.



 




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4 Oct 2020

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